White Heart Pain

It’s common knowledge that when life is getting a little too dark and depressing for your liking, there is really only one course of definitive action that you can take. You write a brooding and contemplative poem…….or, you know, shoot up a cinema full of young people. But seeing as my local cinema is at least a 25 minute drive away, you will be pleased to know that I have opted for the former. Plus it proves to my wife that I can be all deep and meaningful and shit. I hope you enjoy this harrowing insight into the sheer futility of supporting Spurs right now. Still, I suppose that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger…..except for Polio, of course. COYS

What happened to the Spurs of old?

They died, they died!

The pundits said it was just a blip,

They lied, they lied!

Madrid was only back in May,

But now we cannot win away.

They told me to be positive,

I tried, I tried!

Then Bayern smashed us 7-2,

I cried, I cried!

Why do our players show no heart,

How’s Aurier still allowed to start?

We lost away to lowly Brighton,

No pride, no pride!

Hugo dropped yet another clanger,

I sighed, I sighed!

He broke his elbow in the fall,

And now he makes no saves at all.

Watford came to White Hart Lane,

We tied, we tied!

VAR tried its best to fuck it up,

Denied, denied!

Dele saved us with a final twist,

It’s good to know he still exists.

How did Eriksen start at Liverpool?

He hides, he hides!

Mane “wins” another penalty,

He dives, he dives!

Another lead we’ve thrown away,

Still we live to lose another day.

I can’t believe what I am witnessing,

My eyes, my eyes!

Has Poch really lost the dressing room?

Implied, implied!

On current form, we’re going down,

But at least we might beat Ipswich Town.